Kiniu2 : English section

The minister vs the messenger

2009-09-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

'Funny how the government is 'selectively proactive' sometimes. It took public outrage and demand for a minister's head before the government was pressured into using the Sedition Act.'

Arul Inthirarajah: As an Indian, I am extremely offended by what Home Minister Hishammuddin Hussein said and his defence of seditious actions. Action should be taken against him and the offenders, and not those who bring the offence to light. Are BN ministers so used to the public expecting them to be idiots that they all so quick to play the part?

Abil: What is the role of Malaysia Communications and Multimedia Commission (MCMC)? Are they the guardians of what appears on a news portal? Malaysiakini just reported what took place. In what way is it insidious to the public?

P, B & J: Funny how the government is 'selectively proactive' sometimes. It took public outrage and demand for a minister's head before the government was pressured into using the Sedition Act. Then here, there has not been one single grouse about the videos but the government is "smart" enough to know that "The public won't like it if they (MCMC) did not take any action".

Really? What public? I can guarantee you my part of the public would insist that these videos stay on. As an aside, it once again shows the government's problem with going after the culprit rather than the messenger.

Suhakam: Whether Malaysiakini takes down the two video clips or not does not really matter any more. The two clips are already on YouTube. Unless MCMC and the government want to create a global furore and scare away all the IT investors from the Multimedia Super Corridor (MSC), it better not ban YouTube.

As for the hopelessly misguided deputy minister, I think he better be honest and say, "Umno and Kerismuddin won't like it if they (MCMC) did not take any action." I would agree to a poll being set up to really gauge what the 'public' wants.

Public: Dear minister, the public expects action to be taken against the people who participated in the disgusting protest, as well as the people who protect them. Not against the people who report the incidents. If you are in any doubt of that, allow an independent third party to conduct a poll.

The therapist: As usual, nothing constructive is coming out from another BN minister or deputy. The 'public' he is referring to is none other than the people shown in the video and not us - the public at large.

Chee Hoe Siew: "The public won't be happy if MCMC did not take action". Am I getting this right? This means that there have been no complaints so far on Malaysiakini's footage but MCMC decided to act any way. So what about Utusan Malaysia which has had public outcry? How come no action is taken against them?

Kengan: BN ministers who spew out meaningless garbage should not assume the public are gullible fools. Expecting the public to believe the ridiculous speaks a lot for their intelligence and common sense. But then again, we should not expect BN ministers to be intelligent. They are there because of their street fighting and vote-buying ability, not because of their intellect.

Yuvan: The minister's statement is really ridiculous! The public surely wants strong and meaningful action regarding the protesters and definitely not on the videos showing the protests.

The public wants action from all the relevant authorities on the thousand-and-one cases pending against politicians (from both BN and Pakatan Rakyat) for corruption and abuse of power. The public wants action against all those 'little Napoleons' who are not bothered to implement government policies and directives in a fair and just manner making life miserable for thousands of people.

The public wants serious action from the government on a hundred-and-one issues affecting the day-to-day lives of thousands of Malaysians - decent housing, meaningful education, efficient public transportation, affordable healthcare and prices of essential goods and services to be kept under control. And the public wants action from the government to stop MCMC's arm-twisting tactics.

Asian Malaysian: Regardless of the topic, what sort of statement can anyone expect out of the Ministry of Information, Communication and Culture? Well, there you go.

Ong: The deputy minister's statement will be more meaningful if he tells us which sections of the public won't like it if they (MCMC) did not take any action against Malaysiakini for reporting news and events the way they happened. The group that insulted the Hindus? The Hindus who were insulted? Or the rest of us Malaysians who were indirectly insulted?

Steven Hew: Now, all Malaysians with a fair mind and an advanced mindset will know why Malaysia is going backward year after year. Just look at the quality of our ministers and their deputies. They are just a bunch of low IQ human beings.

Fellow Malaysians, if you still think that BN can lead us all to a better future for our children... then never complain for you are the one that vote an idiotic government.

Temporary access: The public was appalled when the police stood by watching while 50 men kicked and spat at a cow's head. They were disgusted when the Selangor police chief said the police did nothing because the officer who was at the scene is a junior staff and did not know his job.

I am stumped to note that anti-riot police violently arrested protesters at a candlelight vigil, who were singing songs and holding roses calling for religious freedom in the country. The public is not upset with the video posted on Malaysiakini's website. They are furious with the abuse of power by the police and ruling elite.
-malaysiakini-

RUNUP TO MIC POLLS: Remove Samy if you want change, Dr M tells Indians

2009-09-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

FORMER Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad says if the Indian community desires change for the better, it must elect leaders who are capable and have the calibre to lead.

As for the MIC, which represents the political interest of the Indian community, he said Datuk S. Subramanian is a suitable and good leader.

“He is an honest leader. He has the capacity and capability to lead,” Dr Mahathir said.

He also said the underlying reason for the Indian community turning to the Opposition was MIC president Datuk
Seri S. Samy Vellu and none other.

“He has been there for too long. He never allowed any other leaders to grow. Inst ead he was determined to exact revenge and devastate them,” he said in a special interview with Makkal Osai at his office in Petronas Towers recently.

He said if the Indian community really wanted to prosper (within the political framework), it must come out
brave to remove Samy Vellu.

“They must elect good and honest leaders,” Dr Mahathir said when expressing his views on various matters
raised by Makkal Osai editor M. Rajan regarding the MIC and the problems currently faced by the Indian ommunity.

Asked for his comments on the MIC elections, Dr Mahathir said: “The Indians are at the crossroads to elect
those who could and would lead them into the future challenges. In that context, Datuk Subramaniam is the
suitable leader in my opinion.

“He is honest, rational and straightforward. He has the ability to embrace and unite everyone.

“He has been in the MIC for long. He should have helmed the party long ago. But he has been denied the opportunity.

He had served as a deputy minister for a long time during my leadership.” There must be a change in the leadership of the Indian community, he stressed, adding that the present leadership must be replaced by
good and capable leaders.

“The Indians generally have no anger against the Barisan Nasional. They had been loyal and supportive of
the Barisan government.

“But due to the discontentment and frustration with Samy Vellu, they expressed it by voting for the Opposition
at the last general election.”

Dr Mahathir said when Umno decided that their leader was not suitable, they made a firm decision to change.
Likewise, if the Indian community desired to prosper, flourish and grow, it must be brave and bold to remove
Samy Vellu, Dr Mahathir added.
Injunction granted against Vell Paari, Tamil Nesan
Vell Paari

THE High Court yesterday granted an interim injunction against Vell Paari, Tamil Nesan and its editor pertaining to a defamation suit filed by MIC deputy presidential hopeful Datuk S. Subramaniam.

The court had on Aug 20 granted an ex-parte injunction against the three. It expired yesterday after being in force for 21 days.

On Aug 13, Subramaniam filed a RM100,000 defamation suit against Vell Paari, who is the managing director of Tamil Nesan Sdn Bhd, the owner and publisher of the Tamil Nesan daily, and the editor-in-chief of the newspaper, K. Pathmanabhan.

In his statement of claim, Subramaniam stated that the defendants had falsely and maliciously written and published defamatory words against him in an article in the newspaper on Aug 4.

He said the article, among others, implied that he had acted against the interests of the MIC and Barisan Nasional in the 12th general election last year and that he had betrayed the party and the coalition.
-malaymail-

Short Stories : Islamic Humor

2009-09-10T05:22:00.000-07:00

Many people (in the West), who have been hugely influenced by negative media stereotypes of Muslims, believe that Muslims are not humorous people. Contrary to this belief, Muslims actually enjoy a laugh!!

Although after saying this, Muslims do abide by some basic rules on making jokes (such as humour being within the limits of Islamic tolerance, and not going beyond the bounds of truth.)

Below are a nice collection of Islamic ancedotes and humorous stories. If you know of any humorous jokes or ancedotes, then please do send them in to me!

Most of the stories below are of a well-known and much-loved folk hero throughout the Muslim world - Mullah Nasruddin. Sometimes he seems foolish, but really he is wise. Stories like this one are told from China to Africa, and beyond.

Nasruddin Goes Fishing
One day, Mullah Nasruddin decided to go fishing. He called upon his good friend Rabbi Moishe, got their poles and bait together, rented a small rowboat at the local harbor, and off to sea they went.
After an amazing afternoon of fishing, the two men had caught thirty fish. An elated Mullah Nasruddin said to Rabbi Moishel, "Better mark this spot so we can come here tomorrow!"

The next day Mullah Nasruddin met up with Rabbi Moishe at the rental harbor for another day of fishing.

"Did you mark the spot?" Mullah Nasruddin asked Rabbi Moishe confidentially.

"Of couse," replied Rabbi Moishe, "I painted a big white X on the bottom of the rowboat."

"You fool!" Shouted Mullah Nasruddin and slapped his forehead, "What if we can't rent that same boat today?!?!?"

Nasruddin And The Judge

One day, Joe Christian passed by a restaurant. He was tired and hungry, for he had had nothing to eat all day. His nostrils caught the smell of the delicious food being cooked inside. He stopped and sniffed, smiled sadly, and began to walk away. But he did not get far. The owner of the restaurant, Rabbi Moishe, came storming out into the street. "Come here!" he bellowed. "I saw that! You took the smell of my food, and you'll have to pay for it!"
Joe Christian did not know what to do. "I cannot pay!" he stammered. "I have no money!"

"No money!" shouted Rabbi Moishe. "We'll see about that! You're coming with me to the judge!" Naturally, Joe Christian was frightened.

"Hmm," said the judge, when he had heard the story. "Well, this is an unusual case. Let me think. Come back tomorrow, and I'll pronounce the sentence."

What could Joe Christian do? He knew whatever sum the judge demanded, payment would be impossible. All night long he tossed and turned, unable to sleep for worry.

When dawn came he made his way to the judges court. As he passed by a mosque he spotted a familiar figure - Mullah Nasruddin. Suddenly, his heart lifted. For he knew that Mullah Nasruddin was a clever man, who was sure to be able to think of a way around the problem. He poured out his story, and Mullah Nasruddin agreed to come to the court and speak for him.

Rabbi Moishe was already at the court, chatting with the judge. Joe Christian saw that they were friends, and feared the judgment would go against him. He was right. The judge began heaping insults upon Joe Christian as soon as he saw him, and ordered him to pay a very large sum of money. At once, Mullah Nasruddin stepped forward. "My lord," he said to the judge. "This man is a good friend of mines. Allow me to pay in his place."

Then Mullah Nasruddin took a small bag of coins from his belt and held it next to Rabbi Moishe's ear. He shook the bag, so that the coins jingled. "Can you hear that?" asked Mullah Nasruddin.

"Of course," replied Rabbi Moishe, impatiently.

"Well, that is your payment," said Mullah Nasruddin. "My friend here, has smelled your food, and you have heard his money. The debt is paid."

And, in the face of such argument, the case was settled and the Joe Christian went free.

Nasruddin's Friendly Neighbour

One day, for one some reason or another, Mullah Nasruddin goes around to Rabbi Moishe's house and asks if he can borrow a pot for a day or two. His neighbour knowing Mullah Nasruddin is reluctant, but eventually agrees as they've been close friends for many years.

The very next day, Mullah Nasruddin returns two pots and explains to the over-delighted Rabbi Moishe that the first pot gave birth to the second pot.

A week later, Mullah Nasruddin asks Rabbi Moishe if he can borrow two pots. Rabbi Moishe immediately agrees - for the obvious reason.

But to Rabbi Moishe's dismay, Mullah Nasruddin never returns the pots, so he asks Mullah Nasruddin if he can have his pots back, but the Mullah Nasruddin explains that tragically both pots have died.

Rabbi Moishe is incensed. "How can a pot die?" he demands.

"You believed it when a pot gave birth," said Mullah Nasruddin. "Why should you not believe that a pot dies?"

Nasruddin's Clever Wife

Mullah Nasruddin was standing outside the mosque after prayer. He had told his wife to meet him outside of the door, but after fifteen minutes she had not shown. He saw his friend Jafar coming out of the door.
"salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque?

"I'm sorry, I didn't, but I'm sure she'll be right out." Jafar replied, and walked upon his way.

Mullah Nasruddin waited for fifteen minutes, but his wife did not show. He then saw his friend Nabil walk out of the door.

"Salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque?

"I'm sorry, I didn't, but I'm sure she'll be right out." Nabil replied, and walked upon his way.

Mullah Nasruddin waited for fifteen more minutes, but his wife did not show. He then saw the Imam coming out the door. The Imam locked the mosque door behind him.

"Salam Alaikum Sheikh," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I am looking for my wife. Do you by chance, know where she went?"

"I'm sorry, no one is left in the Mosque," replied the Imam, "All have gone for the night." and he walked upon his way.

Full of anger, Mullah Nasruddin walked home alone. When he got there, his wife was standing outside the door.

Nasruddin and His Donkey

Rabbi Moishe, in need of a donkey, went around to Mullah Nasruddin's farm to ask him if he could borrow his donkey for a day or two.
Mullah Nasruddin came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey.

Just as Mullah Nasruddin uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard. Hearing the sound, Rabbi Moishe gave him an accusing look, to which Mullah Nasruddin replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine."

Nasruddin's Car Drive

Mullah Nasruddin and his wife are in their car driving.

Suddenly his wife screams, "STOP THE CAR!!!"

"What is it?" Mullah Nasruddin asks.

"Turn around and go back home!! I forgot to turn off the oven!! The house will burn down!!!"

Mullah Nasruddin kept on driving.

"Why aren't you turning around?"

"The house won't burn down..." Mullah Nasruddin replied. "...I forgot to turn off the shower."

Nasruddin's Vision

Mullah Nasruddin and Rabbi Moishe were traveling through the desert. It was so hot that the air was shimmering. In the distance they saw something black on the ground. Rabbi Moishe said, "It's a vulture." Mullah Nasruddin said, "No, it's a goat." They drew closer, still arguing over what it was. Rabbi Moishe threw a rock at it. It flapped its wings and lifted into the air. "See!" said Rabbi Moishe. "I told you it was a vulture."

"That doesn't prove anything," Mullah Nasruddin. "It could be a goat with wings."

The Train Journey

Rabbi Moishe, Mullah Nasruddin and a Nun were sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Jerusalem.

Suddenly the train went through a tunnel. As it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, the Nun and Rabbi Moishe were sitting as if nothing had happened, and Mullah Nasruddin had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there.

Mullah Nasruddin was thinking: 'Rabbi Moishe, must have kissed the Nun and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

The Nun was thinking: 'Mullah Nasruddin must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed Rabbi Moishe and got a slap for it.

Rabbi Moishe was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap Mullah Nasruddin again.

A lesson taught

Nasruddin went to a public bath. The servant didn?t pay any attention and didn?t serve him when Nasruddin was leaving the bath, he gave ten Dinars to the servants.The attendants were surprised and happy. Next week when he again went to the bath all the services were provided to him. Every one was having a sense of inferiority. But Nasruddin on leaving the place gave only one Dinar to them. The servants and the owner were very much bewildered and asked, "What is the reason for the uncalled bonus of last week and improper behavior this week?" Nasruddin replied, "I paid today?s wage last week and last week?s wage today so that you learn to behave politely with your customers!"

Rescuing the moon

Nasruddin was looking at the image of the moon in a well. He thought it was a recompense to take out the moon from the well. Therefore, he threw a rope inside the well and swung it a few times. Incidentally, the tip of the rope got caught to a big stone. He tried to take the rope out. Hence he pulled it with a lot of force. The rope tore off and he fell on his hack to the ground. When he looked at the sky, he saw the moon and said, "Doesn?t matter. My efforts were not wasted. Though I faced a lot of difficulties, I finally succeeded to rescue the moon."

Lack of Time

Once a person slapped Nasruddin in the street. Later he came back and started to apologize and said that he had mistaken Nasruddin for some one else. But Nasruddin was not satisfied and took tight hold of his collar, took him to the judge and told the judge about the incident. The judge ordered, "Nasruddin must slap that person to avenge. But Nasruddin didn?t get satisfied. Thus the judge ordered the person to give Nasruddin a gold coin in lieu of the slap. The accused had to go out of the court to bring the gold coin. Nasruddin waited for sometime. The accused didn?t come back. Nasruddin stood up and slapped the judge on his face and said, "Since I have a lot of work, whenever that person Comes and brings the coin, You take the money for this slap."

Mullah Nasrudin and the The Burglar

A thief went to Nasrudin's house and carried away almost all the possessions of the mullah to his own home. While Nasrudin had been watching from the street. After a few minutes Nasrudin took up a blanket, followed him, went in to his house, lay down and pretended to go to sleep. The thief asked Mullah, "who are you? And what are you doing in my house?" Mullah replied, "we were moving into your house, weren't we?"

Real Evidence

A neighbour called on Nasrudin. "Mulla, I want to borrow your donkey." "I am sorry," said the Mullah, "but I have already lent it out." As soon as he had spoken, the donkey brayed. The sound came from Nasruding?s stable. "But Mulla, I can hear the donkey, in here!" As he shut the door in the man?s face, Nasrudin said, with dignity: "A man who believes the word of a donkey in preference to my word does not deserve to be lent anything."

A Dinner of Smells

Once, long ago, a very fine and expensive restaurant stood on a busy street in a bustling market town. One day, a poor man passed by this restaurant. He was tired and hungry, for he had had nothing to eat all day. His nostrils caught the smell of the delicious food being cooked inside. He stopped and sniffed, smiled sadly, and began to walk away.

But he did not get far. The owner of the restaurant came storming out into the street.

"Come here!" he bellowed. "I saw that! You took the smell of my food, and you'll have to pay for it!"

The poor man did not know what to do.

"I cannot pay!" he stammered. "I have no money!" "No money!" shouted the restaurant owner. "We'll see about that! You're coming with me to the Qadi!

A Qadi is a judge in a Muslim court. Naturally, he is very powerful, and the poor man was frightened.

"Hmm," said the Qadi, when he had heard the story. "Well, this is an unusual case. Let me think. Come back tomorrow, and I'll pronounce the sentence."

What could the poor man do? He knew whatever sum the Qadi demanded, payment would be impossible.

All night long he tossed and turned, unable to sleep for worry. When dawn came he said his prayers and, tired and dejected, made his way to the Qadi's court.

As he passed the masjid he spotted a familiar figure -- Nasrudin the Hoja. Suddenly, his heart lifted. For he knew that Nasrudin was a clever man, who was sure to be able to think of a way around the problem. He poured out his story, and Nasrudin agreed to come to the court and speak for him. The rich restaurant owner was already at the court, chatting with the Qadi. The poor man saw that they were friends, and feared the judgment would go against him.

He was right. The Qadi began heaping insults upon the poor man as soon as he saw him, and ordered him to pay a very large sum of money.

At once, Nasrudin stepped forward. "My lord," he said to the Qadi. "This man is my brother. Allow me to pay in his place."

Then the mullah took a small bag of coins from his belt an held it next to the rich man's ear. He shook the bag, so that the coins jingled.

"Can you hear that?" asked Nasrudin.

"Of course," the man replied, impatiently.

"Well, that is your payment," said the mullah. "My brother has smelled your food, and you have heard his money. The debt is paid."

And, in the face of such argument, the case was settled and the poor man went free.

The rickshaw ride
Once a missonary on his way to run some errand hired a rickshaw. The rickshaw-puller happened to be a muslim. The christian preacher began to preach the Gospel to the R.P. The rickshaw puller got annoyed and asked the preacher "How many sons did God have?" The missionary answered "One". At this the rickshaw puller got more annoyed and said "I am a thirty year old poor rickshaw puller, I have twelve children. If your God is really as great as you claim him to be, then how come he has only one son?"

If Allah Wills
Nasruddin was determined to be decisive and efficient. one day he told his wife he would plow his largest field on the far side of the river and be back for a big dinner. She urged him to say, "If Allah is willing."

He told her whether Allah was willing or not, that was his plan. The frightened wife looked up to Allah and asked forgiveness.

Nasruddin loaded his wooden plow, hitched up the oxen to the wagon, climbed on his donkey, and set off.

But within the short span of a day the river flooded from a cloudburst and washed his donkey downstream, and one of the oxen broke a leg in the mud, leaving Nasruddin to hitch himself in its place to plow the field.

Having finished only half the field, at the sunset he set out for home exhausted and soaking wet. The river was still high so he had to wait until long past dark to cross over.

After midnight a very wet but much wiser Nasruddin knocked at his door. Who is there Asked his wife.

I think it is me, Nasruddin, he replied, if Allah is willing!